Forget about the RTE guide THIS is the only Christmas Day guide that you need in your life.
Christmas Day is a day of memories, of madness and, eventually, of relaxation. Often perfectly imperfect, it comes with a warmth that no other time of year brings. Our guide to Christmas day is sure to help you relieve the spirit of Christmas days gone by and ignite an air of anticipation for the next one to come.
6.30 (if you’re lucky): Attempt bargaining with the kids for an extra half hour in bed; an exercise in futility.
6.45: Aftering conceding defeat, you joyfully watch your little loved ones gasp in amazement at the wonderful things Santa has left for them this year. This is the real magic of Christmas and you wish you could bask in it for longer. They say the best Christmases where when you were a child, but in reality, the best ones are when you have children.
7.15: Start cooking up your traditional Christmas Morning breakfast with the delicious sausages, puddings, rashers and eggs you bought from your local Butcher’s Block. Listen in on the sounds of joy coming from the living room as the kids continue to play with their new toys.
7.45: Breakfast is ready is ready, but the kids are immovable! Thus commences the first argument of the day. Threats of ‘Santa can come back and take those presents off you, you know’ and selection box based bribery are a must as you attempt to prise the children away from their toys.
8.30: Breakfast is finally eaten. The younger kids have run back to their new possessions and an awkward silence befalls the table. ‘Jaysus’ someone mutters under their breath ‘It’s only half 8’. The eldest is quickly ordered to clean the kitchen.
8.45: The kids are forced to call granny to wish her a happy Christmas and tell her what Santa brought them. At least one child can’t remember everything they got.
9.00: Time to start the dinner, believe it or not! It’s also time to regret not cooking your meat on Christmas Eve, like you say you will every year. Essential supplements to this time of day include passive agressive murmurs as one party opts to scan the TV for Morecambe & Wise reruns even though they haven’t been on telly at Christmas time in years. You might have to do it alone, but at least you have your Butcher’s Block Tips for cooking Christmas Meat to hand.
10.00: Turkey, Ham and Spiced beef, all bought from your favourite Butcher of course, are prepped and in the oven and you’re wondering if you can open the wine yet. Time to prise the kids away from their toys again and get ready for 12 O’clock mass.
11.00: Kids are finally dressed, now to dress yourself in hurry.
12.00: Late as usual; your family squeeze into the sardine tin that is your local church on Christmas day. The youngest almost faints so the oldest
completely selfishly kindly offers to take them outside for air. Inside, you lightly bruise your elbow from nudging the remaining child/children for putting the word ‘fart’ into the hymns.
13.00: Back from mass! And time to put your Butcher’s Block Stuffing and your vegetables on. Don’t forget to check the meat! If it’s done stick it on a low heat to keep warm, the rest should take no more than hour!
14.10: Absolutely essential; at least one primary part of the Christmas Dinner must be burnt or dropped on the floor. If the latter occurs, no one has to know but you.
14.30: This year’s guests arrive and you’re not even close to ready! The kid’s cousins are already running riot and they’re only in the door.
15.10: The eldest child grumpily dresses the table for dinner.
15.30: At last; dinner is served. Glasses are clinked, crackers are pulled and sprouts are hidden under napkins.
15.45: The baby of the house is now covered head to toe in gravy and potatoes while the rest of the family chats and reads the so-bad-they’re-good jokes from the cracker.
16.30: The eldest kids grumpily tidy the kitchen.
17.00: After half an hour of declaring ‘I am as stuffed as that Turkey we ate’, some suggests slicing up the Christmas Pudding. Queue yummy noises from the grown ups and ‘ewws’ of protest from the little ones.
18.00: A non-Christmas classic that is always on TV on the 25th of December is bound to be on. Keep an eye out for Jurassiac Park, Independence Day or The Wizard of Oz.
19.30: The first over-tired, over-sugared child melt down of the evening is definitely due by now. Be prepared! PJs and Hot Chocolate should be on hand for such an occurence.
20.00: If you opted for Jurassiac Park or Independence day, chances are there is another melt down on the cards at this stage. There’s always one kid who gets spooked by the aliens and dinosaurs. It’s time to switched over to Eastenders anyway.
21.00: Thanks to the Mitchells the Christmas Spirit has well and truely been sucked from the room. Time to put the youngest kids to bed and start pouring the mulled wine. God knows you need it after watching an hour’s worth of Eastenders.
21.30: After a couple of glasses of mulled wine, or whatever you’re having, everyone is feeling merry again, time to dig out the board games.
22.30: Take pictures of Granny who has fallen asleep, still wearing her paper crown.
23.00: Anyone fancy a sandwich? Crack open the jar of Branston Pickle!
00.00: The board game is finished, accusations of cheating fly. It’s definitely time for bed as Granny’s snoring is beginning to register on the richter scale. It’s been a perfectly imperfect Christmas Day.
The perfectly imperfect, or imperfectly perfect, Christmas Day is one to cherish for a lifetime. All of us at The Butcher’s Block would like to wish all of our Customers a wonderful Christmas Time. Visit us on Facebook and let us know what your favourite traditions are.